Lately I’ve been thinking about the moment I took this photo.
That moment was about four years ago. My husband was going on his first long work trip and I was scared to be the only parent around. I was new to stay at home mom life. I wasn’t used to being the only one our toddler could rely on day after day, night after night.
While we watched the plane leave, I worried I wouldn’t be enough for her. I wondered what we would DO with all of our time– just us. I spiraled from easy worries like “What kind of meals should I make for just the two of us?” into worrying about worst case scenarios like, “Is he going to be safe on that plane?” “What are we going to do if a tornado comes while he’s gone!?”
I remember thinking about the potential for a tornado and picturing scenes from the Wizard of Oz– but with our house whirling around the outside of the tornado. I also remember, after that wacky thought, how I looked at our daughter and told myself, “PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER, WOMAN.”
I could’ve chosen to continue thinking I couldn’t handle our situation and prepping for a disaster. I could’ve chosen to keep thinking negatively about the whole situation, but I didn’t.
I chose to keep in the light. I flipped my hair over my shoulder, threw my worries to the wind and decided that we were going to do our best to thrive, and that we’d (my husband included) handle our new normal one day at a time.
I felt renewed. I felt calm.
We’d choose optimism. We’d pray. We’d make the most of our time together and fight for connection when we had distance.
His traveling has become much, much more frequent, and I’ll tell you, it isn’t easy, but it could be a whole lot worse. God is good. Life is good. I know if I hadn’t chosen and worked at being positive then, I wouldn’t be able to shut off the spiral into anxiety now.
Keep in the light, friends. You will be equipped to handle more than you know– because we are not alone.
“Do not fear, for I am with you, do not be afraid, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my victorious right hand.” Isaiah 41:10